Day 36: Bittersweet

This color name makes me think of candy, but for some reason I really felt like drawing a cat.  My cousin used to have a cat named Butterscotch.  Maybe that's the connection.  I think having cats can be "bittersweet" - They are loving but there is a bit of work that goes into taking care of the cats.  AND no matter how much your daughters beg and promise that they will feed and clean up after the cats - THEY DON'T!  I guess what goes around comes around.  I never helped care for my cats when I was a kid.  Sorry Mom.

What else can I say... It's a cat!

Day 35: Purple Mountains' Majesty

I've been avoiding this color, because it looks grayish purple, and seemed kind of ugly.  I purposely pulled it out today, because I am feeling yucky and blah - with a runny nose and a stuffy head.  Than I looked at the color name "Purple Mountains' Majesty" and that struck me as a silly, almost ridiculous, name.  BUT once I started drawing with it, I really like the color.  It is much more purple than I thought.

I wanted the mountains to be a part of the drawing, because of the name, so I started copying one of my old paintings that I have hanging in my dining room (where I am sitting to draw).  I forgot how much I really like this painting.  I did this painting right after my second daughter was born (WOW, it does not seem like 13 years ago that I made that painting).  I like that I was able to get several textures from the crayon in this drawing - by using shading combined with patterns.

I actually feel a little better after completing this drawing.  A little more energized and focused.  Maybe I can actually get something done today.

Day 34: Olive Green

I'm feeling better today - not 100%, but better.  My nose is still runny, but I am not as tired.  Getting things done today.

I wear a lot of Olive Green, so it's kind of funny that I drew a girl not wearing anything but underpants.  Again, I really wish I could draw better with crayons, but they are very limiting.  When I try to draw dark, the wax just clumps up and even sometimes gets lighter.  I am more than half way through this project.  It's going sa lot faster than I thought.  What will I do after?  Wait and see...

This is inspired by a Victoria's Secret ad that came in the mail today.  I love the clothes from VS.  However, I must say... I am not feeling too sexy these days.

Day 33: Gray

I'm not feeling great today.  Just a little head cold, but it is rainy and I just wanted to stay on the couch all day and watch movies. I was able to relax and take it east after I presented a webinar on "Art Therapy - Interpreting the Art and Facilitating Communication", attended a Jog-a-Thon meeting at my daughter's middle school and saw a client struggling with school anxiety. Finally, I watched the Oscar nominated "The Kids Are All Right" - which was awesome.

I chose the color gray because today was definitely a gray day*.  But the drawing that came out is playful and silly.  I was drinking a cup of tea, out of a mug that I bought a few years ago in Tortola, British Virgin Islands.  I refer to that mug as "My weekend cup", because I use it only on the weekends to feel special and relaxed.  (My hubby teases me about having a "weekend mug", but it makes me happy).  The images in this drawing are taken from that mug.

I just now notice that there are two of everything in this drawing - two fish, two trees, two flowers, two shells and even two suns.  Why?  Maybe I am feeling alone and want to connect with someone else.  Maybe two makes me feel comfortable.  I have two daughters and two cats.  Thoughts from anyone else?  PS: Hubby finally came home after running the daughters here and there, and he brought me Matzaball soup.  Good hubby.

*Side note: Dr. Seuss has a book called, "My Many Colored Days" which was written in 1973, but was not published until after his death.  Dr. Seuss had specifically left instructions that this book be illustrated by someone else.  That is not an easy task, but was accomplished by two amazing colorists, Steve Johnson and Lou Fanche.  This book has also been made into a video that is scored by the Minnesota Orchestra and narrated by Holly Hunter - it is an amazing 15 minutes of pure joy.  Check it out!

Day 32: Apricot

I have to say that I am getting really tired of drawing with crayons.  They are pretty limiting.  I am trying to be creative, but it is hard.  I just want to draw with ink or paint or anything else... This is what it's like to be on a truly restrictive diet.  After 32 days, I just want to eat different food!

This started out as a tree and turned into an octopus looking "thang". The lighter crayons are really waxy, and harder to get a color variation.  I had so much fun melting the green crayon yesterday, that I got out the lighter again, and just let it go wild.  I even brunt the paper in a few places (I don't think you can see that in the scan).  I am pretty sure that the melted wax is going to start chipping off, so this will be an image that continues to change and morph.

As I look at it now, I feel like I want it to be something that it is not.  Or maybe I want the crayons to do something that they are not made to do.  What does that say about me?  I start off with one intention and get sidetracked into something else?  I want to present as cool, hip and unique, but really I am messy and sloppy.  Plus, nothing is going to stay the same forever.  I believe these last few drawings have really been speaking to my own feelings of getting older and not being able to pull off "young" anymore.

Also, this past week I have been trying to put together a Women's Art Group, and I am getting frustrated.  I believe people are interested, but everyone is so busy and/or commitment phobic that they will not settle on a date to meet.  I just want to create an opportunity to be social, creative and interactive with some really special women. (and maybe use it as an excuse to have a glass of wine on a week day evening).  Just like with the crayons, I am frustrated.

Day 31: Green

This was a lot of fun to make!  First I removed the entire wrapper and cut it into strips. I broke a very small portion of the tip off so I would have something to draw with, than I took out my big fireplace lighter and melted the rest of the crayon.  When it got too small to hold and melt, I stuck a toothpick in the end and melted the rest.

This is what developed from collaging the wrapper and drawing around the drips.  My daughter says it look like amoebas.  I agree that there is some feeling of growth and movement - metamorphosis even.   I feels freer and less controlled from the previous few drawings - I like that.  I needed that.

Day 30: Brown

Must be PMSing... I am craving something warm, sweet and chocolaty. Or maybe this is about some else all together (wink).

Day 29: Perwinkle

Since I got back from my Caribbean Cruise, I feel as if I have been on the computer non-stop.  That was the inspiration for this drawing.  I was super tired and did not put much effort into this.

Day 28: Dandelion

Sometimes I choose specific colors to go with my mood or my day.  Other times I allow someone else to choose.  Today I closed my eyes and grabbed a crayon from the box of 37 colors remaining. Each time I use a color I do not place it back in the box.  It is placed into a separate small plastic box - what is left of the original crayon - usually bits and pieces of wax and torn paper wrapper.  I may make a final project with the left over crayons.

My younger daughter came home from Venice Beach today with a Henna tattoo on her left forearm.  This image is inspired by the tattoo.  Because it is yellow, it looks like an elaborately detailed sun.  Today was rainy.

Day 27: Magenta

Feelin' all hip-hop today. Gonna Surf and Swag.  Taggin' wit graffiti.

I like that this is pink graffiti - two things that do not really go together.  Not sure where this inspiration came from.  I am kind of feeling old - like there are parts of my life that I will never be able to relive.  Two things that don't go together - how I feel and how I look. That feeling of falling in love and being infatuated with someone.  Being young and stupid, just does not work as well over forty.

I am a little upset that the "T" came out looking a little like a swastika.  Don't like that at all (even though it was originally a peace sign.  Before the Nazis usurped it).

Day 26: Black

I have been looking forward to Black.  I cheated a little.  I wanted to go back to that childhood activity where you color many colors, cover it all over with black and scratched back into it (I used a popsicle stick to etch).

Today  I returned from my cruise.  We have an old friend, Dmitri, visiting.  He was my husband's friend when they were in music school together.  Than I lived with him and my now-husband.

Without really  thinking about it, I drew (etched) a figure that I used to draw, paint and sculpt while I was in college.  This is a crouching, sad, female figure. Maybe Dmitri is reminding me of another me.  Maybe I just wanted to return to another time when I was younger.  Maybe I am feeling sad today.

day 25: Sea Green

I just want to clarify that I did not choose this color on purpose (Sea Green).  In fact, I just grabbed a bunch of colors before I left.  I felt a little rushed doing this one.  I like the simplicity.  I often overwork the drawings.  It feels celestial. Stars, moons and planets.

Day 24: Blue

Sitting on the upper deck of the Lido deck in the sun as Cuba floats by starboard. I think this is fun and self explanatory. 

Day 23: Strawberry

This seems to be some crazy Dr. Seuss Taj Mahal.  I visited Ocho Rios, Jamaica - it was HORRIBLE! Dirty, over crowded and contrived.  Sushi and martinis in Ocho Rios is a dead fish and an empty bottle of Sky washed up on the beach.  This drawing feels chaotic and disjointed.

Day 22: Cadet Blue

Day two cruise.  I believe this was a result of seeing too many people in too little clothes.  I am a little scared of this drawing.  If I am to be truly honest, this may be how I was feeling after putting on a bathing suit.

Day 21: Burnt Orange

Day one on a Carnival Cruise to the Caribbean.  I am on a Valentines cruise with my cousin, Susan.  I have no idea what to expect - I just hope that I do not get seasick.  This is the design on the bedspread in our cabin.

Day 20: Blue Violet

This was created during my seminar in Jacksonville, FL while attendees were making their own art.  I had been teaching them about Mandala Drawings earlier in the day - so the circle shape was in my head.

This was really fun to create. I used a plate and a cup to trace the circles.  I am finding that I really like the darker colors crayons - I can color super dark and then scratch back into it.

Gotta keep this one short because I am in Miami about to leave on a cruise to Jamaica and Grand Cayman Island.  I will try to post daily, but I'm not sure what internet service will be like.  I do, however, promise myself to draw daily.

Day 19: Yellow

This was made while I was teaching a class in Savannah, GA.  The attendees of my lecture were working on creating a "Soul Collage".  The yellow inspired me to draw lemons and a sun (even though it was quite cold in Savannah).  The lighting was not good in the conference room, and it was really hard to see this light color.  I do not like this drawing - it is not aesthetically pleasing to me.

Day 18: Tickle Me Pink

Today WAS a better day...

I am lecturing today in Columbia, SC.  While the attendees of my conference on Art Therapy and Grief are creating  a collage, I do this.  I have to say, I hate this Crayola name "Tickle Me Pink".  This is a stupid name for a nice color.  One of the attendees commented that this color would make a great lipstick shade.  Maybe that is why I drew mannequin-looking heads with lips. This drawing just seemed to create itself.  Without expectations. I really like this drawing.

With just 3 hours of sleep, I am tired. Must shower and get into this comfy Hilton hotel bed. Nitey-night.

Day 17: Tumbleweed

I did this on the airplane heading to Charlotte, SC.  The image was inspired by color name "tumbleweed". I started drawing tumbleweeds at the top of the page.  Looking out the window at the mid-west down below, I was inspired to draw a landscape.  I wanted a path trailing off into the distance.  (The Beatles' song "The Long and Winding Road" was playing in my head).  Once I drew the mountains, the tumbleweeds looked more like some kind of UFO lights in the sky.

I added the ripped up pieces of wrapper for some texture.  This was the last moment of  peacefulness that I had today.  Here is what happened....

The plane landed 25 minutes late.  I had to run, in high heels, through three terminals of the Charlotte airport to make my connection to Columbia, SC.  I made the plane, but my luggage did not.  When I arrived in Columbia, I got my rental car, and left the airport without my luggage.  I arrived at the Marriott, and they told me they were overbooked (even with a confirmation) and they were sending me to another hotel.  I made it over to the second hotel at 10pm, dropped off my backpack and went back out for dinner.  The hotel clerk suggested a restaurant which ended up being 20 miles away (WTF!).  I was half way through my meal when I realized that I had left my wallet at the hotel.  I told the manager of my pathetic evening, and told him I would call with my Visa card # as soon as I got back to the hotel.  I did (he probably did not think I would ever call).  After a midnight shower, I tried to sleep, but kept having dreams about my missing luggage.  At 2am my luggage arrived.  Yeah!  Tomorrow will be better.

Day 16: Robin Egg's Blue

I am packing to go on my monthly travels and lectures.  This month I am in Columbia, SC, Savannah, GA and Jacksonville, FL. That is nothing new, but THIS week AFTER lectures I AM GOING ON A CRUISE!!  So, I am packing for both, work and play.  I have been to the Caribbean several times, but I have never been on a cruise before.  So, I guess this drawing is in anticipation of fun in the sun.  Gotta go pack!

Day 15: Sepia

Super Bowl Sunday.  This drawing pretty much speaks for itself.  Although we are not a big sports family here at the Hayes house, we do tend to watch the Super Bowl and the World Series.  I feel I did my patriotic part by watching the first half hour and the last 3 minutes (I missed the Black Eyed Peas at halftime).  In between my daughter and I went to the movies to see "The Fighter".

Today was simple and uncomplicated (catching up on paperwork, laundry, grocery shopping and a movie).  The drawing is simple and uncomplicated.

Now that I look at it again, I see that there are a lot of partial circles. Could be because I am working on several projects right now, and none of them seem to be completed.  That does not seem to ring true for me.

Maybe they are like Venn diagrams.  With different parts of my life overlapping. THAT'S IT!  Today I got a Facebook friend request from Rick, a middle school / high school boyfriend.  I started thinking about the last time I saw him (summer of 1987).  I was living in Boston with Dave, a later high school boyfriend. It had been a few years since I had seen Rick, when he walked into a one-hour photo store I was working at on Boylston St.  (Where I worked just down the street from my current husband, but did not even know him at that time). Dave and my husband, Michael, both went to Berklee College of Music, but they did not really know each other. Rick and I spent a lot of time together that summer, as friends, because Dave was not around much. I found out later that he was cheating on me. During the summer of '87 Dave was cheating on me with a girl that Michael had previously been on a date with.  To make matters even stranger, before Rick dated me in high school, he dated my cousin, Susan, who I am going on a cruise with next week. There is a complicated Venn diagram for you.

See! Art is so revealing of our current state of mind.  In fact, never simple and uncomplicated.

Day 14: Macaroni and Cheese

First off - I must apologize for not getting yesterday's drawing up yesterday.  My daughters had three friends sleeping over and they were in the room where the scanner lives... Believe me, you do NOT want to interrupt 5 pizza and milkshake filled teenage girls while they are watching "She's The Man".

Secondly, thank you to all those of you who sent their emotional support yesterday when my blog was sad and colorless.  I am feeling better.  One of the reasons that I have chosen to do this "64 day / 64 Crayola colors drawing" Art Therapy experiment is to show how my feelings change from day to day. So, no matter how sad, angry or alone I feel one day, it is possible to start a new day feeling completely different.  I find that people assume if they feel sad today, they will definitely feel sad tomorrow and they must have felt sad yesterday. Not true! Emotions are fluid. In order to illustrate that (pun intended) I must be completely honest with myself, my drawings and my interpretations.

OK, back to our regularly scheduled program...
I am feeling better.  Not completely over the disappointment from yesterday, but closer to some acceptance. It really helps that I got an apology and felt real remorse from my loved one.

It is a beautiful, sunny, citrus, California morning. The sun is streaming in.  Both cats are sleeping in there beds in the bright sunlight.  I look out the kitchen glass doors to my backyard where I see my swimming pool and the lemon tree. I cut open an orange from the bowl of fruit on the table, and the smell permeates my senses. I choose a bright and sweet color. The drawing starts as the fruit and than metamorphoses first  into a sun and later into what could be a sea creature.

The fruit and the sun are obvious, but I need to explain the sea creature.  On Tuesday I am leaving for South Carolina, Georgia and northern Florida where I am doing a series of lectures on Art Therapy and grief.  Than, I am heading down to Miami where I am getting on a Carnival Cruise ship to Jamaica and Grand Cayman Island with my cousin Susan.  Today Susan I were choosing the excursions that we are interested in, and snorkeling was high on our list.  There! Sea creature reference.  Art Therapy is similar to dreaming - things that were part of our consciousness a few hours earlier make their way into our subconscious drawing.

I just need to add one thing... This Crayola crayon seemed waxier than the others.  It was very difficult to get a dark full coverage, and it was flaking off more than I had experienced with the previous colors.  My question to Crayola... Does the hue of the crayon change or alter the texture? or Is there a different wax content from crayon to crayon?

Day 13: White

Today was a very hard day. I felt very disappointed by someone that I love and trust.  I feel sad, angry, depleted and other feelings that don't have a name. I felt the opposite of yesterday's multicolored.  Today I am colorless.  I know that this too will pass, but for today, I need to respect my depleted, colorlessness.  I was really looking forward to "White" day, and I feel that I sort of wasted it, but today needed to be white on black paper.

With little energy, the image is very simple.  And that is all I have to say about that.

Day 12: Multiple colors: Tree of Life

You are going to have to forgive me, but today I deviated from the rules...

I had a vision, and I needed to create it.  That is what evolved into this "Tree of Life".  It started with the idea of the crayons as the trunk, or structure, of the tree and the branches emanating out from the crayons.  The way I envisioned it was that both the conscious and the unconscious exist together and balance one another out.  Therefore the top portion on the white paper represents the conscious mind, and the bottom, black portion is the unconscious mind.  Notice that the colors are polar opposites -complimentary of each other.  Both sides carry equal importance, and the picture can be turned upside down and it will still make sense.

This multimedia painting was a lot of fun to do, and I want to take it even further.  I picture it as an animated Photoshop image that starts as the simple crayon tree, and than the branches grow and evolve into a full tree with the heart leaves.  I know that can be done, but I do not have the Photoshop skills to do it.  If anyone out there does...please, I can use you assistance.

I will return to our regularly scheduled program tomorrow. One color per day. By the way, don't worry that I used up so many crayons, because I used crayons from a different box so that I would not interfere with the 64 day / 64 crayon project.  

Day 11: Silver

I was recently looking at a sculpture that my daughter, Cydney, did when she was 8 years olds. I liked the way it was divided into many sections with multiple patterns. I was inspired! With that busy design concept, I purposely chose a colorless color.  Although this is silver, it looks more gray. (I remember silver and gold as having more shimmer in them). That worked out fine, though, because today I am feeling tired, cold and achy - it seems like a gray day (even though it is Silver).

I was looking around the room for pattern ideas: one section is inspired by the crayon wrapper.  Another section is based on a tissue box design.  Yet a different pattern came from my hubby's old flannel that he carelessly tossed on the back of the couch. I just never know what will serve as my next muse.

I really want the crayon to make sharper lines.  I find that somewhat frustrating about this medium. However, yesterday I found some wood carving tools, and I am enjoying using them to scratch back into the waxy surface.  I am going to have to explore that more.

Day 10: Forest Green

Just before I started today's drawing I was filling out insurance forms and getting very frustrated. That takes two things that I highly despise, medical insurance and filling out forms.  Needless to say I was NOT in a good mood.

I picked a green color, because I have not used a dark green yet,and I realized that my daughter, Sawyer, HATES this specific color of green.

I started with a big, angry X in the center of the page. That became a row of Xs.  Despite my original resistance, I had to draw Os.  Up to that point, I had been drawing in silence, but than I felt compelled to listen to The Black Eyed Peas' song "XOXOXO".  (Now that song has been stuck in my head all day). Hearts just emerged in the spaces between the Xs and Os. I really am sort of proud of how my anger and frustration, evolved into love. I am really trying to let either let go of or embrace my irritations and dissatisfactions.  I think the way this drawing progressed demonstrates this well.

As I was drawing, I felt that the lines at the bottom where a spider web. But once I stepped away, and saw the drawing from a distance, it looked more like platforms way up high above a chasm. The mountains above and the valley below, and a lot of love in between.  Sappy.