SoulCollage: Four months after surgery

Way back on May 6, 2011, my daughter Cydney had a surgery to remove a cyst from her ovary (the Dr had to take the ovary also).  It very was scary, and I felt angry and helpless.

Now, almost four months later, she is healthy and it is almost as if it never happened. I created this SoulCollage right after the surgery while I was still scared confused and angry, but also grateful.

There are images in this collage that look like an egg, as I was thinking about my daughter's ovaries and her ability (in the future) to get pregnant - or not.  To be a mother is something that is very important to her - something I did not know about my own daughter until this situation came up.

The hands holding cans look like that old telephone game.  I guess I was thinking about communication.  At first it was hard for my hubby and I to talk about our daughter without blaming each other, but I realized that we had to be on the same team and stop the blaming.  But there is a knot in the line - that interferes with direct communication.

Day 8: Indigo

Paisley!  That is what today's drawing was copied from. My brother once told me that the paisley shape is from the Indian culture and it originated from the mango shape.  I LOVE mangoes!  The color is indigo, and that makes the paisley shapes feel like drops of water too.  They feel like they are moving slowly in a meandering manner.

Although there is a lot of repetition in this drawing - just like in yesterday's floor pattern - the composition, as a whole, is more free floating.  If this were a mandala, it would fit into the 2nd stage, free floating images, titled "Bliss".  I like "Bliss" because this is where anything is possible.  Where ideas are coming together to form a new picture, but not yet formulated enough to fully understand what that picture will look like. 

I really feel as if I am on the verge of something new, but I am not sure what that something is yet.  I am excited, and trying to be open to possibilities that I haven't even thought of yet - or maybe would have rejected in the past. One thing that I have been trying to do recently is to "monotask".  That is simply do only one thing at a time.  So, instead of reading emails WHILE I talk to my husband, I do one and than the other. I am trying to eat without watching TV, and simply enjoy eating.  But I will always run AND listen to music (some things just go together).

When I watch TV, I put my computer away, and watch TV fully.  I was watching "Celebrity Rehab w/ Dr. Drew Pinsky" yesterday.  Every time I see that show, I think about how powerful Art Therapy is with people in all stages of rehad and recovery.  The art just allows them to gain some distance from their own overwhelming feels, while forcing them to face the realities of their own pain, motivation and behavior.  I have worked for years with all types of addiction, and one thing that I have found to be consistent with every addict is the LYING.  They lie to themselves as often as they lie to everyone around them. The art bypasses that censoring, rationalizing ability, and forces them to face the truth. The art is such an amazing alternate form of communication - when we just do not have the words. 

Hey Dr. Drew, if you ever want something really powerful, healing and visually enticing, I will come to Pasadena and run some Art Therapy groups for you celebrities.  I'm just down the street in Calabasas.

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