Soul Collage: Committee Suit "The Restless Self"

I have been feeling this intense sense of restlessness lately.  The need for change - something new.  I really think this has to do with my stage in life: 43 years old - married almost 19 years.  The questions of "Is this all there is?" and "Do I ever get to feel that sense of novelty, thrill and excitement again?" keep bubbling up to the surface.

The background is an exploding volcano - so much destructive energy.  I am a little worried that my restless energy could become destructive - doing something I will regret later.  But most of that background is covered up.  So maybe that is a good thing.  Keep it contained.

There is the speedboat that probably represents thrill and excitement but also luxury and indulgence.  A bit of dangerous playfulness too.  The jar with the lightning bolt conveys a bottled up power force.  As if that cork is going to pop off any second.  Could be alcohol, "tiger's blood" or just potential energy.  Right now I feel I have so much to share, but no outlet for it.

I picked the gun - not for a violent image, but as another symbol of power.  "If I can not gain your respect, I will just take it!"  Fear. There is a credit card coming out of the top of the gun -  I did not even see that until I started cutting it out - credit is potential money, money is potential power.  Really starting to feel the pressures of money, or lack of.

I am a bit baffled by the  tree trunk body / TV headed figure.  It seems frightened and confused. I am frightened and confused by all this bottled energy.  How do I sublimate it without hurting myself or others around me? I am also uncertain of the meaning of the leopard.  It seems to be stalking its' prey.  Maybe it's a "cougar".  What is it I am "Stalking"?

I think I need to stop thinking about all the exciting things that I don't have, and refocus on what already exists in my life that I can get excited about.